Being the best couple you can be when so much has changed is not easy. So it will be a smart idea to eliminate the challenges that you already know are there and not stack any new ones on top of them.
I’ve discovered the power of discomfort and how powerful it can be in a relationship. If you think about it, the strength of a couple is utilized to withstand the land mines that litter their path to success. The discomfort however, lands squarely in the chest when considering actually acknowledging that these land mines actually exist.
Consider this scenario:
You have been working from home lately and this is an adjustment for you. Everything from your eating, working, cleaning and creative time has all adjusted slightly. Your partner has also experienced a number of minor adjustments in life and no one stops to ask reasonable questions between very reasonable people.
⚫️ How do you want to handle dinner if we are not on the same eating schedule that day?
⚫️ It’s hard to tell when you’re done with work when you’re home, can you let me know what to expect?
⚫️ Understanding that meetings, tasks and personal times are not what we’re used to, are there boundaries that I can help establish? Closed office door in the afternoon, no tv in the mornings, etc.
These questions are scary for some couples because they are acknowledging that land mines exist. The couple brave enough to confront these challenges will also experience a very unique reward: a relationship where they solve problems before they experience them. They won’t have a life argument-free, but that isn’t the goal. They simply won’t spend time denying these traps exist and will instead acknowledge their personalities, their challenges and their support for one another.
This book is fantastic! Turn your uncomfortable questions into casual conversation.
The Friday Happy Hour actually saves lives. This is an hour or so scheduled, away from your phones, for you and your partner to decompress with one another and discuss the thoughts for the weekend. So often, we are lazy brained on the weekends, but this happens to also be the time where you might actually have time to spend with one another. Put some thought into it! Close out the week in conversation and plan any personal and together time now so you are able to be all sorts of lazy brain.
Organize your thoughts in a Planner designed specifically for couples. This is what we use and lives are being saved everyday because of it. It’s a no-brainer for only a couple of dollars.
Perspective is key
There are going to be areas in our partners life where we feel a little out of the loop. Experiencing new anxieties is part of this COVID afterlife we face, however if we are able to believe that our partner is doing their best and you are holding yourself to that same regard, then all is well.
Help them out wherever you can, teach less lessons and thank them for doing their best.